Napkin Placement Mystery Solved

Napkins placement can create internal battles within our heads and when you ask for other people's opinion then problems sometimes surface on a personal basis of who is correct.  When setting the table, first of all relax, it really can be fun.  Second, there are some simple etiquette "rules" to follow.  (Etiquette, remember is a guide to help us along and to make our guests feel at ease.)

Don't you worry...I'm here to aid you in this decision.  

I prefer to set the napkin in the center of the plate, with a nice napkin ring.  Many people like to place the napkin in the water goblet, but after breaking a friend's Tiffany crystal stemware trying to remove it, I now try to spare guests of mine - and my fine crystal - the same fate.

After you remove your napkin from the ring, place the napkin on your lap and the ring to the left of your plate.  After you have finished your meal and get up to leave the table, you can place the napkin to the left of your plate, or once your plate has been removed, you can place it where your plate had been, but not back in the napkin ring.  However, it's proper etiquette to leave your napkin on your lap until you get up from the table...even if you're finished eating.  If everyone stays at the table and chats after the meal, it is considered rude to have your dirty napkin in sight.

Don't have napkin rings on hand?  Here's how to fold one like a pro:

Fold the napkin into a triangle.  Fold in the two bottom corners one quarter of the way.  Fold both of the corners over one another so they meet in the middle.  Fold the top point down and flip the napkin over, and you have a chic envelop shape.  You can leave it as is, or insert your silverware, a pretty flower, or chopsticks if you're serving an Asian menu.

Did these tips make it simple for you?  Let me know if you have any questions. I also have LOTS of other napkin folds I will be thrilled to share with you.  This was my hobby growing up whenever my mother entertained.  It's fun table origami to me.

Table Setting Savvy Part 2

The last post I wrote about "Setting the Mood" before the guest arrived.  This post is where all of those glasses, plates, and cutlery items are placed to make a pretty table. 

Traditionally, cutlery is laid smallest to largest, working toward the plate.  Forks go to the left of the plate, spoons and knives to the right.  The exception are the dessert fork and spoon, which go above the plate, spoon on top.  There is a great debate among my friends as to whether you should put out the full set of cutlery even if you don't need it (i.e., a salad fork if there is no salad).  My feeling is, put out whatever you think a guest might use (who knows, she might want to cut her rigatoni with a knife).  But skip anything that will lead a guest to think a course is coming that isn't.  (I once left a dinner party extremely hungry, thinking, given the plethora of forks, that the entree was the appetizer.)

Place the water goblet right above the tip of the knife, and set the wineglasses slightly in front of the water. For more formal parties, preset for as many different types of wines or champagne as you plan to serve.

Next Blog post will be the ins and outs of napkins.

Rebecca Mannerly tip:  Remember that all food and drinks should be served on each diner's right (that's why the glasses are all on the right), and cleared from each diner's left.

Setting the Mood

I've found that if my guests walk into a nicely set room, it puts them in a good mood and makes them feel pampered - before they've even had a bite.

Table-Setting Savvy

When you're throwing a dinner party, think of your table as the gift-wrapping and your food as the gift.  You want to give your guests a knockout visual presentation so they get excited about tucking into the delicious spread you've prepared.  But all you really need to pull off the effects is a runner for a semiformal dinner (you and your guests are wearing jeans and a cute top) or a fabric tablecloth for a formal one (everyone's asked to wear cocktail attire).

If you don't have a runner (which is basically just a long strip of fabric laid down the center of your table), a quick makeshift idea is to use a long scarf.  I've even used a black brocade scarf of my grandmother's before.  Another option is to run a row of fabric place mats down your table.  With your flowers and olive oils and other small dishes on top of them, no one will notice they're not all one piece.

For a formal table, splurge on a tablecloth.  White is always a safe bet because it won't clash with your plates or food.  But don't worry about getting the finest quality.  What's more important is that it's ironed and crisp-looking.  If you'd sooner have your teeth drilled than iron, send out your napkins and tablecloth to be pressed.

A truly formal setting implies having all of your cutlery, dishes and glassware already on the table at the beginning of the meal.  What I like about this - whether I'm actually serving a formal meal or not - is that not only does it pass the Miss Manners test, but as the hostess you don't find yourself scrambling for more glasses during the meal.

More on the placement of each cutlery, dishes and glasses in next blog.

Rebecca Mannerly tip:  Forget which side to put the bread plate and which side to put your drinking glasses?  Make an "okay" sign with both hands - you'll see that your left hand makes a "b" for bread, and your right hand makes a "d" for drink.  Easy!