Let's Talk
It's not always easy to know what to say to keep a conversation going. But believe it or not, chatting is a lot like riding a bike, playing an instrument, or any other skill. The more you practice, the better you get.
Break the ice
You may be shy. You may have nothing to say. But if you stand silently beside another person, how is she to know you're not just unfriendly? Ask some questions: "Are you from here?" "Have you seen any movies lately?" The more she talks, the more relaxed you'll both feel.
Take turns
A conversation is like a tennis match. You say something. The other person takes your thought and bops back one of her own. That's how it goes: back and forth, back and forth. If one or the other holds on to the ball and starts talking nonstop, the game is kaput.
Listen
We all like a good listener because she makes us feel that our thoughts and feelings matter. If you want to become a better listener, do this:
* Encourage the other person to talk by asking questions.
* Let them know you've heard what they said by commenting on it.
* Don't always switch the subject back to yourself.
Interrupting
Wait till the other person stops talking before you start. If you want to drive somebody crazy- Drive somebody cra- If you want to drive somebody crazy- ARGH! ISAIDifyouwanttodrivesomebodyCRAZY, interrupting is a good way to do it!
Zzzzz
If someone's boring you:
* Try to change the subject.
* Make a nice excuse. ("I'd better go to____." "I think I'll get a juice." "Guess I better leave now. See you soon!") Then make your escape.
But don't:
* Let your eyes wander around the room, looking for other people you'd rather be with.
* Say "Can we change the subject? This is boring."
* Walk off without saying anything.
If you want to avoid boring other people:
* Ask them questions.
* Talk about something other than yourself.
* Don't talk all the time.
* Don't tell really long stories, give really long speeches, or describe every little detail of a dream, TV show or movie.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Love is For Life
Myth No. 15
Love is for life.
Many people will tell you that the aim of love is, eventually, to find the person with whom you can settle down, the person who is willing to have a long-term, serious relationship. Not me. The idea of finding "the one" or the idea that marriage is a superior relationship leaves far too much in its wake. A woman may love four men in her lifetime, and they may not all have been her lovers. A woman may mother a child with one partner but choose to love and live with another man later on. A woman may have many brief relationships to find that marriage suits her much, much later in life, or not at all. The idea that we must find someone with whom we can share our life is out of place, for we are sharing our lives with a broad range of special people at any given time. Focus on the one and we may miss out on the beauty and contribution of the many.
Love is for life.
Many people will tell you that the aim of love is, eventually, to find the person with whom you can settle down, the person who is willing to have a long-term, serious relationship. Not me. The idea of finding "the one" or the idea that marriage is a superior relationship leaves far too much in its wake. A woman may love four men in her lifetime, and they may not all have been her lovers. A woman may mother a child with one partner but choose to love and live with another man later on. A woman may have many brief relationships to find that marriage suits her much, much later in life, or not at all. The idea that we must find someone with whom we can share our life is out of place, for we are sharing our lives with a broad range of special people at any given time. Focus on the one and we may miss out on the beauty and contribution of the many.
There's Nothing Like the Real Thing
Myth No. 14
There is nothing like the real thing.
I don't believe there is a real substitute for intimate human love and romance. It's natural to miss the heady rush of falling in love- the way it heightens every one of our senses and replaces the monotony of the solitary life with drama and dimension. Once tasted, it is hard to live without. But if you're in between loves, how are you going to live in the meantime? In a dreary self-absorbed vacuum or a vibrant playground? I say, get out the finger paints. Try to see the world for a day as an artist sees it- passionately!
Romancing your life creates energy, energy makes you happy, being happy brings back your sense of humor, and laughing makes you pretty. Everyone is suddenly asking you, "Are you in love?" and all you have to say is, "Yes, in fact, I am in love- with snails and poems and pastry flour and a cloud shaped like a Mozart's ponytail and Dave Matthew's voice and the smell of fresh sheets and the squish of wet earth in the garden and the way I feel singing Etta James on my bicycle on a fall day-
but other than that, no, not really."
There is nothing like the real thing.
I don't believe there is a real substitute for intimate human love and romance. It's natural to miss the heady rush of falling in love- the way it heightens every one of our senses and replaces the monotony of the solitary life with drama and dimension. Once tasted, it is hard to live without. But if you're in between loves, how are you going to live in the meantime? In a dreary self-absorbed vacuum or a vibrant playground? I say, get out the finger paints. Try to see the world for a day as an artist sees it- passionately!
Romancing your life creates energy, energy makes you happy, being happy brings back your sense of humor, and laughing makes you pretty. Everyone is suddenly asking you, "Are you in love?" and all you have to say is, "Yes, in fact, I am in love- with snails and poems and pastry flour and a cloud shaped like a Mozart's ponytail and Dave Matthew's voice and the smell of fresh sheets and the squish of wet earth in the garden and the way I feel singing Etta James on my bicycle on a fall day-
but other than that, no, not really."
Three Little Words, "I Love You"
Myth No. 13
(Three little words) "I love you."
In English we are pretty limited in our lovers' lexicon and, reductively, a vast range of emotional expression, expectation, and longing is crammed into one little phrase. "I love you" is the declaration that we all wait to hear. Why is it, then, that when we finally get our wish the phrase falls a bit flat? Often in a courtship, the L word is contraband for some months. Then, once declared, it's bandied about to a pulp. Used day to day in a long-term relationship, "I love you" can mean "I'm sorry," "You owe me," "I need you," or, more often than not, "But do you love me?" What can we expect if we use "I love you" as an invoice? When issued as an emotional demand the thudding silence that follows these words is its own reward.
Because "I love you" has been exploited by card companies and bad movies, it often doesn't feel big or deep enough to express a big, deep love and some lovers refuse to use it at all. It's up to us to find our own fresh expressions of intimacy. Showing and sustaining love are a lot harder than declaring it. Savor those three little words, mean them, don't wear them out, and (hardest of all) don't demand to hear them. Learn them in a foreign tongue.
(Three little words) "I love you."
In English we are pretty limited in our lovers' lexicon and, reductively, a vast range of emotional expression, expectation, and longing is crammed into one little phrase. "I love you" is the declaration that we all wait to hear. Why is it, then, that when we finally get our wish the phrase falls a bit flat? Often in a courtship, the L word is contraband for some months. Then, once declared, it's bandied about to a pulp. Used day to day in a long-term relationship, "I love you" can mean "I'm sorry," "You owe me," "I need you," or, more often than not, "But do you love me?" What can we expect if we use "I love you" as an invoice? When issued as an emotional demand the thudding silence that follows these words is its own reward.
Because "I love you" has been exploited by card companies and bad movies, it often doesn't feel big or deep enough to express a big, deep love and some lovers refuse to use it at all. It's up to us to find our own fresh expressions of intimacy. Showing and sustaining love are a lot harder than declaring it. Savor those three little words, mean them, don't wear them out, and (hardest of all) don't demand to hear them. Learn them in a foreign tongue.
If You Love Someone, Set Them Free
Myth No. 12
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours; if they don't, they never were.
Those 1980s posters adorned with seagulls and sunsets hold a sickening grain of truth. Possessive love rarely flourishes. Whether it's a child, a husband, or a best friend, people need space to express their feelings. When you fall in love it's hard to loosen that grip and still feel secure, but you must try. Reassurance and open, intimate dialogue will give you the strength you need not to cling, but try not to demand. Before you ask for what you need from a lover, consider deeply what you can give of yourself.
PS: When you really love someone, setting them free or even giving him two weeks of "space" is about as easy as cutting off your hand.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours; if they don't, they never were.
Those 1980s posters adorned with seagulls and sunsets hold a sickening grain of truth. Possessive love rarely flourishes. Whether it's a child, a husband, or a best friend, people need space to express their feelings. When you fall in love it's hard to loosen that grip and still feel secure, but you must try. Reassurance and open, intimate dialogue will give you the strength you need not to cling, but try not to demand. Before you ask for what you need from a lover, consider deeply what you can give of yourself.
PS: When you really love someone, setting them free or even giving him two weeks of "space" is about as easy as cutting off your hand.
Love Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry
Myth No. 11
Love Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry.
No one ever believed this. Without contrition, love is doomed.
Love Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry.
No one ever believed this. Without contrition, love is doomed.
Love The One You're With
Myth No. 10
Love the one you're with
Or leave him. Don't slug out a relationship for the sake of being in one. Solitaire a deux is the pits- be alone instead of getting good lovin' gone bad.
Love the one you're with
Or leave him. Don't slug out a relationship for the sake of being in one. Solitaire a deux is the pits- be alone instead of getting good lovin' gone bad.
Love Is All You Need
Love Myth No. 9
Love is all you need.
Love is all you need, but one lovers isn't. To put too much emphasis on a committed long-term relationship as an avenue of salvation (in the absence of religion), as an escape (from self-doubt, poverty, or boredom), as acceptability (in the eyes of society, your family, or the law), or as ultimate fulfillment is very dangerous, not least to the relationship itself. Take the heat off.
Love is all you need.
Love is all you need, but one lovers isn't. To put too much emphasis on a committed long-term relationship as an avenue of salvation (in the absence of religion), as an escape (from self-doubt, poverty, or boredom), as acceptability (in the eyes of society, your family, or the law), or as ultimate fulfillment is very dangerous, not least to the relationship itself. Take the heat off.
Can We Talk?
Communication
Successful communication is a matter of follow-up - no matter what. A letter after an unsuccessful interview, a thank you note after a dinner with friends, a hospital visit, or just a silly Post-it poem left on the fridge door for your roommate puts you in contact and back in the driver's seat emotionally by easing that anxious feeling that arises from too many loose ends.
"Keep in touch" is a harmless little request that easily becomes a burden. At fifteen you could hold the phone marathons without breaking for food, rest, or breath. Ten years later you have to pinch yourself to make contact once a week. As you get older life splinters: Your friends move away or into relationships, motherhood, or jobs with weird hours or bosses who so unreasonably don't permit those crucial forty-minute catch-up phone calls. In order to maintain friendship and contact, you have to look hard at the limitations of your time and energy and make the best of the media you have available. E-mail, FaceBook, mail, texting, florist, Twitter and Internet are your tools, and having friends and family who understand the way you live also helps. Modern living means disappearing for up to three weeks without having to say you're sorry. After a time you're going to realize that your best friends are not the ones who have a tally pad iPhone application on their smart phones that are always with them but those who see the words "Let's have lunch" in the abstract reality of distant time and space.
Book Review: Children's Books of Etiquette
I have a love for children's books because I grew to appreciate them in college while I was studying to become an elementary school teacher. I think that picture books reach children in a way that they can relate to. The pictures are colorful, the story is witty and the is book short enough to teach and not feel too long for new readers to enjoy.
Anyway,
I'm bringing you a few books that are my favorite for teaching etiquette to children.
This book, "Lady Lupin's Book of Etiquette", by Babette Cole, I'm actually holding right now is very beautifully illustrated. I like it because the story is told by a very proper Scottish deerhound. The "do's and don'ts" are made light and funny because of the directions are given to the dogs. My children and home and in the classroom giggled at these pages.
Well, let me give you an example:
"Etiquette is, how to behave like ladies and gentledogs so that everyone will love you, it may even help you get a good mate."
"Never bark with your mouth full."
"Shake paws correctly."
"A neat appearance can be attractive. Brushed snout, clean nails."
If you are a dog lover or a kid lover, you will enjoy this book. I like the idea of making etiquette lessons, which are very dry and boring into a subject that can become alive and silly. Children will retain something they can relate to faster than something that has less appeal and full of rules. Our goal is to teach them to become graceful members of our family and society. What a fun way to introduce this concept to your children. Maybe you could even find it at your library as well.
I've Told You 1,000 Times
Most kids hear what you say;
Some kids do what you say;
But all kids do what you do.
Kathleen Casey Theisen
Some kids do what you say;
But all kids do what you do.
Kathleen Casey Theisen
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Write A Charming Thank You Note
The 6 Key Elements of Every Thank You Note
1. Start with beautiful paper, envelope, a stamp, and a quality pen.
2. Start with the date and salutation: Send your note, written in black ink within a week of receiving a gift.
3. Say thank you right off. Be specific about why you are writing the note. If you're thanking someone for a monetary gift, refer to their "generosity" rather than mentioning the amount. Be sure to tell them how you plan to use their gift.
4. Compliment the kind gesture: Don't be afraid to go over the top- everyone loves an effusive compliment, as long as it is heartfelt.
5. Allude to the future: Anticipate another get-together.
6. Finish with sincere regards: Reiterate your gratitude, then close the letter on an intimate note, signing your first and last name. Don't forget to proofread before you mail it.
1. Start with beautiful paper, envelope, a stamp, and a quality pen.
2. Start with the date and salutation: Send your note, written in black ink within a week of receiving a gift.
3. Say thank you right off. Be specific about why you are writing the note. If you're thanking someone for a monetary gift, refer to their "generosity" rather than mentioning the amount. Be sure to tell them how you plan to use their gift.
4. Compliment the kind gesture: Don't be afraid to go over the top- everyone loves an effusive compliment, as long as it is heartfelt.
5. Allude to the future: Anticipate another get-together.
6. Finish with sincere regards: Reiterate your gratitude, then close the letter on an intimate note, signing your first and last name. Don't forget to proofread before you mail it.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Open Your Heart
We may SAY we want love, success, and happiness, but we don't always back up our dreams with self-honoring actions. Without self-love, we have no foundation to uphold or contain love, self-esteem, and true potential. Someone can love you with more heart than you ever imagined, but where will it go if you have no internal mechanism for recognizing pure love? The world can shower you with opportunities, but you will miss the best plums on the tree because you won't think you deserve to reach for them.
The First Step.
After your prayer and meditation, take 10 to 20 minutes every morning to mediate to a piece of music that feels heart-opening to you. Do you like classical, jazz, indie or the sound of the wind and the waves? Have you ever listened to chants? I just found one that is moving and is actually called "Open My Heart", by Ann Hernandez and Ruth Cunningham from the CD HARC: inside chants. Hear more at http://www.myspace.com/anahermusic here you can order the music straight from the artist.
There is a nice christian song "I Exalt Thee / Open the Eyes of My Heart Instrumental Parts by Alfred Publishing
The First Step.
After your prayer and meditation, take 10 to 20 minutes every morning to mediate to a piece of music that feels heart-opening to you. Do you like classical, jazz, indie or the sound of the wind and the waves? Have you ever listened to chants? I just found one that is moving and is actually called "Open My Heart", by Ann Hernandez and Ruth Cunningham from the CD HARC: inside chants. Hear more at http://www.myspace.com/anahermusic here you can order the music straight from the artist.
There is a nice christian song "I Exalt Thee / Open the Eyes of My Heart Instrumental Parts by Alfred Publishing
Friday, August 27, 2010
Replace Self-Defeat with Self-Love
Being kind to yourself is a healthy habit to get into.
Work to release feelings of regret, angst, fear and anxiety, and instead fill up with love, joy, possibility, and spirit. For example, does your current morning prayer or meditation include sipping coffee/tea while berating yourself for a goof-up at work, worrying about something that happened between you and a friend, or giving yourself guilt because of that chocolate cake you ate? If someone else were beating up on you the way you beat up on yourself, you'd fight back. In this case, you have to fight the urge to defeat your own purpose in life and replace repetitive, negative thinking with that which uplifts you heart and soul.
THE FIRST STEP
Begin with a prayer to be filled with Divine Presence and possibility--positive, hopeful thoughts and ideas. Create a new intention that if you slip into negative self-talk you will switch your focus. Try a special mantra or affirmation that can redirect your energy. Some possibilities to get you started: I am one with God. I am a good person, Love fills my being, I radiate good energy and thoughts.
Next post: Open Your Heart
Work to release feelings of regret, angst, fear and anxiety, and instead fill up with love, joy, possibility, and spirit. For example, does your current morning prayer or meditation include sipping coffee/tea while berating yourself for a goof-up at work, worrying about something that happened between you and a friend, or giving yourself guilt because of that chocolate cake you ate? If someone else were beating up on you the way you beat up on yourself, you'd fight back. In this case, you have to fight the urge to defeat your own purpose in life and replace repetitive, negative thinking with that which uplifts you heart and soul.
THE FIRST STEP
Begin with a prayer to be filled with Divine Presence and possibility--positive, hopeful thoughts and ideas. Create a new intention that if you slip into negative self-talk you will switch your focus. Try a special mantra or affirmation that can redirect your energy. Some possibilities to get you started: I am one with God. I am a good person, Love fills my being, I radiate good energy and thoughts.
Next post: Open Your Heart
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Self-loathing Is Fueled by Exhaustion and Hopelessness
Lack of self-esteem can grab hold in times of stress and challenge, and self-loathing is fueled by exhaustion and hopelessness. Self-love can be reborn by making a commitment to add life-affirming activities to daily life. It is crucial that we nourish ourselves--body, mind and spirit. This does not mean going to a spa every few years. It has to be blended into our lifestyles and treated with as much importance as a doctor's appointment or worship service.
Many of us are very generous with those around us. We give of ourselves to friends, family, coworkers. We twist ourselves into pretzels to accommodate the needs of others. But when it comes to ourselves, we can be stingy.
If you have read my post before you know that I love things that stimulate all of the senses. So.
The First Step
Chart a course to improved self-image that stimulates all the senses. This will fill you with a sense of hopefulness and potential! Make a list of 10 things that will enhance your feelings of self-esteem. Incorporate everything from meditation, exercise and prayer, to taking yourself out on dates, to activities that bring you joy and enhance your well-being on all levels. Above all, "follow your bliss"!
Next post:
Self-Love Replaces Self-Defeat
Seeing Yourself Poorly Through Someone Else's Eyes
How many times have you been hurt because of someone else's opinion of you? When we experience self-esteem only through the eyes of others, one unkind word or a bad mood in another can shatter our sense of self.
Are you feeling the love? If not it's time to. Love is one of the most powerful energies on the planet. We are born with love in our hearts, and it lives within us all. But some of us put some much focus on finding love and approval "out there" that we never get a chance to truly develop it within ourselves. We look for in the external world -- from parents, partners, friends, bosses, new people we meet, people we admire. If any one of them disappoints, devastation follows.
"To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness." - Robert Morely
For then next 9 days I am going to give 10 tips and techniques to help you enhance your life by cultivating love from within.
Are you feeling the love? If not it's time to. Love is one of the most powerful energies on the planet. We are born with love in our hearts, and it lives within us all. But some of us put some much focus on finding love and approval "out there" that we never get a chance to truly develop it within ourselves. We look for in the external world -- from parents, partners, friends, bosses, new people we meet, people we admire. If any one of them disappoints, devastation follows.
"To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness." - Robert Morely
For then next 9 days I am going to give 10 tips and techniques to help you enhance your life by cultivating love from within.
Top Ten Reasons I'M Going To @M3Summit (Modern Media Man Summit)
Top ten reasons I'm going to, M3Summit, (modern media man summit).
I'm a WO-man btw.
10. Great speakers and entertainment.
9. Not any different from the boardroom we are accustom to daily.
8. They are planning clean fun and keeping it professional.
7. There WILL be dry eyes after speakers, no sappy stories.
6. A room filled with men, hello!
5. Other women ARE attending.
4. Wanting to watch an SEC football game is respected and available. War Eagle!!
3. No boas, tiaras or blinking head gear.
2. Not thinking there will be any Conga-line dances.
1. No bathroom lines, seriously, this is reason enough right there.
There is still time to register.
See you there!!
It is held in Atlanta.
September 9 - 12
Hey, When You register put in the code. "TWITTER" or "FB" for a discount of $125.00
I'm a WO-man btw.
10. Great speakers and entertainment.
9. Not any different from the boardroom we are accustom to daily.
8. They are planning clean fun and keeping it professional.
7. There WILL be dry eyes after speakers, no sappy stories.
6. A room filled with men, hello!
5. Other women ARE attending.
4. Wanting to watch an SEC football game is respected and available. War Eagle!!
3. No boas, tiaras or blinking head gear.
2. Not thinking there will be any Conga-line dances.
1. No bathroom lines, seriously, this is reason enough right there.
There is still time to register.
See you there!!
It is held in Atlanta.
September 9 - 12
Hey, When You register put in the code. "TWITTER" or "FB" for a discount of $125.00
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Selfishness - by: Ruth Rendell
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live." Ruth Rendell, English writer.
I like this quote. I thought I would share one of the books this author has written. Have you read it yet? I have not, but I do like her quote.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Living Alone
Living alone can be the best time of your life or an existential nightmare depending on both your life skills and your outlook. Over ten years of living alone taught me the following survival prerequisites:
* Make your house worth coming home to. Just 'cause no one can see your dishes doesn't mean you shouldn't wash them.
* Build an extensive library of mood music - this is the soundtrack to the movie of your life.
* Personalize your casa. This may be the last time you will be able to live with Marabou pillows and silk sheets.
* Budget your phone use. If you spend more than two hours on the phone or the web every night, ask yourself if you are truly learning to bear your own company. Try to put aside one night that is just with you, not reaching out but reaching in.
* Don't skimp on eating well. Cheerios eaten straight from the box is not dinner. Making the effort to cook solid, attractive food for one is not just a sign of self-esteem, it also keeps you in touch with civilization. Guest hate canned soup.
* Don't let your pets rule your life. Your loneliness might lead to dominatrix cat syndrome: a pet becoming more and more demanding and holding you hostage in your own home. If your pets are starting to keep you in, take them day-tripping to an outdoor cafe or a spot of window shopping. If your cats hisses at your dates and brings up fur balls of emotional blackmail, start thinking deeply about goldfish or plants.
* Always have at least three books you love next to the bed. Stash trashy biographies under worthier novels and art magazines for when guests drop in.
* Invest in the best Chinese satin pajamas and marabou slippers. The postman only knocks twice. :)
* Live safely. Bolts and deadlocks that work, neighbors you can trust, and windows that are adequately sealed from breakins and prying eyes are the basics. Additional precautions are simple touches like yelling good-bye when you leave the house (even if there's no one home), not leaving an overly detailed answering machine message ("Hi, I'll be away until..."), never reciting your personal details (phone number and address) over the counter at a bank or post office, never revealing your address over the Net, and being extra careful about anyone who knocks on your door, whether it's the pizza delivery boy or friendly Mormons.
* Respect yourself. Just because you can bring anyone home (no roommates, parents, or offspring listening in) doesn't mean you should. Once you get over the first flush of freedom, be selective (and safety minded) about who you fly home to your nest.
DO the crazy stuff that privacy permits:
*Watch four TiVo episodes of Mad Men back to back.
* Do your housework in a crochet bikini, an apron, and a tiara.
* Teach yourself to two-step and waltz with a broom.
* Floss with the bathroom door wide open.
* Memorize three Cole Porter songs word and pitch perfect.
* Read Proust and Peanuts.
* Sort through eight years' worth of black lace bras, love letters and lipsticks.
* Speak Italian to your plants.
* Take Polaroids of your breast for future generations to admire....:)
* Leap out of bed in the middle of the night with a brilliant idea, forget it on the way to the fridge, and build an even more brilliant sandwich.
* Do really icky beauty experiments that involve henna, raw foods, and clay mud.
* Play the sort of music guys hate at any hour.
* Allow yourself one soft toy or several.
* Make your house worth coming home to. Just 'cause no one can see your dishes doesn't mean you shouldn't wash them.
* Build an extensive library of mood music - this is the soundtrack to the movie of your life.
* Personalize your casa. This may be the last time you will be able to live with Marabou pillows and silk sheets.
* Budget your phone use. If you spend more than two hours on the phone or the web every night, ask yourself if you are truly learning to bear your own company. Try to put aside one night that is just with you, not reaching out but reaching in.
* Don't skimp on eating well. Cheerios eaten straight from the box is not dinner. Making the effort to cook solid, attractive food for one is not just a sign of self-esteem, it also keeps you in touch with civilization. Guest hate canned soup.
* Don't let your pets rule your life. Your loneliness might lead to dominatrix cat syndrome: a pet becoming more and more demanding and holding you hostage in your own home. If your pets are starting to keep you in, take them day-tripping to an outdoor cafe or a spot of window shopping. If your cats hisses at your dates and brings up fur balls of emotional blackmail, start thinking deeply about goldfish or plants.
* Always have at least three books you love next to the bed. Stash trashy biographies under worthier novels and art magazines for when guests drop in.
* Invest in the best Chinese satin pajamas and marabou slippers. The postman only knocks twice. :)
* Live safely. Bolts and deadlocks that work, neighbors you can trust, and windows that are adequately sealed from breakins and prying eyes are the basics. Additional precautions are simple touches like yelling good-bye when you leave the house (even if there's no one home), not leaving an overly detailed answering machine message ("Hi, I'll be away until..."), never reciting your personal details (phone number and address) over the counter at a bank or post office, never revealing your address over the Net, and being extra careful about anyone who knocks on your door, whether it's the pizza delivery boy or friendly Mormons.
* Respect yourself. Just because you can bring anyone home (no roommates, parents, or offspring listening in) doesn't mean you should. Once you get over the first flush of freedom, be selective (and safety minded) about who you fly home to your nest.
DO the crazy stuff that privacy permits:
*Watch four TiVo episodes of Mad Men back to back.
* Do your housework in a crochet bikini, an apron, and a tiara.
* Teach yourself to two-step and waltz with a broom.
* Floss with the bathroom door wide open.
* Memorize three Cole Porter songs word and pitch perfect.
* Read Proust and Peanuts.
* Sort through eight years' worth of black lace bras, love letters and lipsticks.
* Speak Italian to your plants.
* Take Polaroids of your breast for future generations to admire....:)
* Leap out of bed in the middle of the night with a brilliant idea, forget it on the way to the fridge, and build an even more brilliant sandwich.
* Do really icky beauty experiments that involve henna, raw foods, and clay mud.
* Play the sort of music guys hate at any hour.
* Allow yourself one soft toy or several.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Introducing People
Conversations are always more fun if everyone knows everybody else. If someone is new, it's good to introduce them. And it's nice to say something to help the people know each other a little better.
I just say something like:
"Miss. White, this is my friend, Benjamin. We live in the same neighborhood."
or
"Dottie, this is Anna. She went to school with me."
Remember: Rebecca Mannerly Says:
"The Heart of meeting and greeting manners is to speak up, speak pleasantly, and make sure everybody knows everybody else."
It's polite to introduce younger people to older ones and introduce males to females. That means that I say the older person's or the female's name first:
Examples:
"Mrs. Davis, this is my friend Catherine."
or
"Emily, this is Bradley."
What if a lot of people in a group don't know the new person? I just say something to the whole group like,
"Everyone, this is Sophia White. She just moved in next door to me."
Then, if the group is small, I go around the circle and tell the new person the name of everybody there. If it's a really big group, like a class in school, I might ask them to tell her their names themselves. Then I stick around to make sure people are talking to the new person and help her fit in.
Introducing Myself
If I meet someone new and no one introduces them to me, I just go ahead and introduce myself. That's kind of hard sometimes. I would suggest not to wait around for the other person to say hello. If both of you are waiting like that, you might never meet each other at all! It's really a lot better just to smile and say, "Hi. I'm Judith Marie. What's your name?"
If I'm greeting someone I've met before a long time ago (like a childhood friend), it's still important to say my name. It's just not fair to say, "Hi, remember me?" She would be very embarrassed if she didn't. So I just give a little reminder:
"Hi, I'm Rebecca Mannerly. I went to school with you. I'm glad to see you again."
Do you have any questions? I hope I made this very simple to follow.
I just say something like:
"Miss. White, this is my friend, Benjamin. We live in the same neighborhood."
or
"Dottie, this is Anna. She went to school with me."
Remember: Rebecca Mannerly Says:
"The Heart of meeting and greeting manners is to speak up, speak pleasantly, and make sure everybody knows everybody else."
It's polite to introduce younger people to older ones and introduce males to females. That means that I say the older person's or the female's name first:
Examples:
"Mrs. Davis, this is my friend Catherine."
or
"Emily, this is Bradley."
What if a lot of people in a group don't know the new person? I just say something to the whole group like,
"Everyone, this is Sophia White. She just moved in next door to me."
Then, if the group is small, I go around the circle and tell the new person the name of everybody there. If it's a really big group, like a class in school, I might ask them to tell her their names themselves. Then I stick around to make sure people are talking to the new person and help her fit in.
Introducing Myself
If I meet someone new and no one introduces them to me, I just go ahead and introduce myself. That's kind of hard sometimes. I would suggest not to wait around for the other person to say hello. If both of you are waiting like that, you might never meet each other at all! It's really a lot better just to smile and say, "Hi. I'm Judith Marie. What's your name?"
If I'm greeting someone I've met before a long time ago (like a childhood friend), it's still important to say my name. It's just not fair to say, "Hi, remember me?" She would be very embarrassed if she didn't. So I just give a little reminder:
"Hi, I'm Rebecca Mannerly. I went to school with you. I'm glad to see you again."
Do you have any questions? I hope I made this very simple to follow.
Happy to Meet You!
The heart of meeting and greeting manners is to speak up, speak pleasantly, and make sure everybody knows everyone else.
Did You Know?
Manners are different in different countries and different groups. In our country, it's considered polite to smile at people and look them in the eye. In some other countries it's considered more polite not to look others in the eye or touch them. In any country, though, kindness and thoughtfulness are always correct - even if you don't know all the rules.
Review for You and Lessons for Your Children
How To Have A Happy Handshake
1. Hold your hand out with your fingers together and your thumb up.
2. Don't make a face if the other person squeezes too hard.
3. Don't squeeze too hard.
4. Don't let your hand go limp. No one wants to shake hands with a jellyfish.
5. Don't high-five or do fancy handshakes unless you already know the other person likes to do that.
6. If you are a female, you're the one who should offer to shake hands first.
Tell me how you did. Do you have any stories of out of control arm pumping handshakes. Don't be fooled with the word, handshake, you don't have to "shake" the hand.
1. Hold your hand out with your fingers together and your thumb up.
2. Don't make a face if the other person squeezes too hard.
3. Don't squeeze too hard.
4. Don't let your hand go limp. No one wants to shake hands with a jellyfish.
5. Don't high-five or do fancy handshakes unless you already know the other person likes to do that.
6. If you are a female, you're the one who should offer to shake hands first.
Tell me how you did. Do you have any stories of out of control arm pumping handshakes. Don't be fooled with the word, handshake, you don't have to "shake" the hand.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Is There a Difference?
Is there a difference between acting politely generous and being religiously kind?
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
The Heart of Good Manners - Every Day Mannerisms
Some kind of manners are for special situations and special occasions, but other kinds of manners are good for any time. They make life easier and nicer and a lot more comfortable - and they help make special occasions more special. In fact, these everyday "to do" rules are the heart of all other good manners.
DO use polite words. "Please," "thank you," and "excuse me" make our words and actions more kind.
Have you noticed these words being used in everyday conversations from the people you meet ?
DO use polite words. "Please," "thank you," and "excuse me" make our words and actions more kind.
Have you noticed these words being used in everyday conversations from the people you meet ?
Breaking the Ice
When I am talking to people I don't know very well, sometimes it's hard to know what to talk about after the hellos are finished. Rebecca Mannerly says, "The very best way to handle these moments is to remember that everybody likes to talk about themselves." So just ask questions and listen to the answers in a friendly way. I mean general, get-to-know-you questions like:
"Do you have any hobbies?
"Do you like animals?"
"Have you seen any movies lately?"
Asking questions is a good way to get a conversation started. It's called "breaking the ice," and it's a good way to start talking to almost anyone.
Do you have any question you ask to get a conversation started when you meet someone new? I'd love for you to share.
"Do you have any hobbies?
"Do you like animals?"
"Have you seen any movies lately?"
Asking questions is a good way to get a conversation started. It's called "breaking the ice," and it's a good way to start talking to almost anyone.
Do you have any question you ask to get a conversation started when you meet someone new? I'd love for you to share.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
My Dear Readers,
Have you arrived at a time in your life where your mind feels so dull from all of the "have to's" that you are screaming for a mental break? The "Stay-cations," are not doing the trick for me. How Very UNrefreshing it is to pack up everything and go anywhere with the whole family in tow? I do like the idea of staying closer to home and saving money, but sometimes I need to change a few simple things in my routine and I have a different feeling at the end of the day. I am purposing a get away, and remember, use as needed. These ideas will not cost you very much, they instead might add value. Go ahead give one or all a try.
1. Get out your good china and prepare a special dinner.
2. Wear your favorite jacket, spray your best perfume and run errands.
3. Have a party with your loved ones because you can.
Stop postponing your life.
Your china has been in storage, why? Your errands are done in your comfy clothes, again, why? You feel better about how you feel when you look your best. You picked out your china pattern because you loved it. Get it out this year and use it.
Try a "Receiving Praise Week." Anytime anyone gives you a compliment, just receive it. No ifs, ands, or buts- just a simple thank you, period. If any notes of encouragement come your way, take them to a special place, receive them, and thank God for them.
1. Get out your good china and prepare a special dinner.
2. Wear your favorite jacket, spray your best perfume and run errands.
3. Have a party with your loved ones because you can.
Stop postponing your life.
Your china has been in storage, why? Your errands are done in your comfy clothes, again, why? You feel better about how you feel when you look your best. You picked out your china pattern because you loved it. Get it out this year and use it.
Try a "Receiving Praise Week." Anytime anyone gives you a compliment, just receive it. No ifs, ands, or buts- just a simple thank you, period. If any notes of encouragement come your way, take them to a special place, receive them, and thank God for them.
Monday, August 16, 2010
What Age Should Someone Be When You Call Them, Ma'am or Sir?
Manners Matter
What age should someone be when you call them, "ma'am" or "sir"?
Is Being "PC" the Same as Practicing Good Manners?
Manners Matter
Is being Politically Correct, "PC", the same as practicing good manners?
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