Communication
Successful communication is a matter of follow-up - no matter what. A letter after an unsuccessful interview, a thank you note after a dinner with friends, a hospital visit, or just a silly Post-it poem left on the fridge door for your roommate puts you in contact and back in the driver's seat emotionally by easing that anxious feeling that arises from too many loose ends.
"Keep in touch" is a harmless little request that easily becomes a burden. At fifteen you could hold the phone marathons without breaking for food, rest, or breath. Ten years later you have to pinch yourself to make contact once a week. As you get older life splinters: Your friends move away or into relationships, motherhood, or jobs with weird hours or bosses who so unreasonably don't permit those crucial forty-minute catch-up phone calls. In order to maintain friendship and contact, you have to look hard at the limitations of your time and energy and make the best of the media you have available. E-mail, FaceBook, mail, texting, florist, Twitter and Internet are your tools, and having friends and family who understand the way you live also helps. Modern living means disappearing for up to three weeks without having to say you're sorry. After a time you're going to realize that your best friends are not the ones who have a tally pad iPhone application on their smart phones that are always with them but those who see the words "Let's have lunch" in the abstract reality of distant time and space.
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