Three Little Words, "I Love You"

Myth No. 13

(Three little words) "I love you."

In English we are pretty limited in our lovers' lexicon and, reductively, a vast range of emotional expression, expectation, and longing is crammed into one little phrase.  "I love you" is the declaration that we all wait to hear.  Why is it, then, that when we finally get our wish the phrase falls a bit flat?  Often in a courtship, the L word is contraband for some months.  Then, once declared, it's bandied about to a pulp.  Used day to day in a long-term relationship, "I love you" can mean "I'm sorry," "You owe me," "I need you," or, more often than not, "But do you love me?" What can we expect if we use "I love you" as an invoice?  When issued as an emotional demand the thudding silence that follows these words is its own reward.

Because "I love you" has been exploited by card companies and bad movies, it often doesn't feel big or deep enough to express a big, deep love and some lovers refuse to use it at all.  It's up to us to find our own fresh expressions of intimacy.  Showing and sustaining love are a lot harder than declaring it.  Savor those three little words, mean them, don't wear them out, and (hardest of all) don't demand to hear them.  Learn them in a foreign tongue.