Below is a list of chapters in sequence from a book written by Conrad Hilton. I found his life fascinating and the chapter titles revealing of his progression to his success as the namesake of the Hilton hotel brands.
Please read and leave a comment if these titles make an impression on you too. I honestly found them poetic within themselves telling of the American Dream as they are written. Oh, and the book was great too.
Contents
Hospitality
life brimming
adventure
celebrity
unforgettable
glamorous
glamorous destinations across the globe
decades of turbulence
decades of prosperity
thoroughly engaging saga
living up to a legend
help bring the world closer together
inspiring
personal memoir
resonates with faith
perseverance
compassion
phenomenal success
story of success
story of inspiration
inspiration in life
legend of the world
spectacular rise
rewrite boundless opportunity
rewrite boundless opportunity of the American Dream
The American Dream
You've Got to dream
growing pains
learning - here and there
a panic, a hotel and three girls
politician, banker, capitalist
to texas via paris, france
innkeeper, texas style
a million dollar mountain, a red hat
the only gilt-edge security
pushing out the horizons
how big can you dream?
the sky is the limit
Horizons unlimited
there is an art to living
I was recently reading a book about Conrad Hilton, the namesake of the Hilton Hotel brand. I was drawn to this book because I was employed at the Hartford Hilton in Connecticut early in my career. As a manager, I learned to admire the Hilton Standards and bring these standards into my personal thoughts of what I think makes something excellent. The Hilton Standards are what the hotel's bases their quality of service for their guest @Hilton.
Your Presence is Requested
Monday, March 2, 2015
Sunday, March 1, 2015
The Rational Way to End Our Loneliness
On Being Single - On Being Coupled
Can you imagine how we would look to visiting aliens?
They would think we were crazy. They'd see single men and single women, most of whom are unhappy to some degree with their lack of coupledness. The men want women. And the women want men. And there are lots of men and lots of women. They crowd dance floors together - scores of them (us) packed in together in dark rooms. They travel miles to picnics and discussions and wine tastings and parties. They swarm to beaches and singles bars and concerts and crabfests. But they don't get together. Sometimes when they're in discussion groups together, they lament their singleness, tell woeful tales of unrequited attempts at togetherness, decry the character flaws of their former other halves. It breaks your heart to hear some of their stories.
Seeing all this, an alien would be dumbfounded. Why suffer when the solution seems so obvious?
Get together.
Just do it.
Quit your belly aching.
Get out there and couple.
If he spoke English and didn't get green ooze all over everything he touched, an alien would probably grab people at random and say, "Here, you go with him and you go with her."
Of course, it wouldn't work. People would separate as quickly as they were united because earthlings have to be turned on first. And aliens have no concept of what it takes to turn someone on. Actually,
I'm not sure myself.
It cannot be forced at all, IT somehow, just happens.
But once IT happens, the connection between woman and man doesn't separate very easily.
Have you recently been around a newly in-love couple? It is the same with everyone with every generation, at any decade. The talking, the racing pulse, the blushing, the excitement reflected in their voices. The google eyes they make as our eyes glass over when they, once again speak on their new favorite topic.... themselves - their new found love - their couple-hoodedness.
aliens to love - aliens of how to make the connection - aliens waiting for our turn - aliens in love.
Once You Find Your Mate
Can you imagine how we would look to visiting aliens?
They would think we were crazy. They'd see single men and single women, most of whom are unhappy to some degree with their lack of coupledness. The men want women. And the women want men. And there are lots of men and lots of women. They crowd dance floors together - scores of them (us) packed in together in dark rooms. They travel miles to picnics and discussions and wine tastings and parties. They swarm to beaches and singles bars and concerts and crabfests. But they don't get together. Sometimes when they're in discussion groups together, they lament their singleness, tell woeful tales of unrequited attempts at togetherness, decry the character flaws of their former other halves. It breaks your heart to hear some of their stories.
Seeing all this, an alien would be dumbfounded. Why suffer when the solution seems so obvious?
Get together.
Just do it.
Quit your belly aching.
Get out there and couple.If he spoke English and didn't get green ooze all over everything he touched, an alien would probably grab people at random and say, "Here, you go with him and you go with her."
Of course, it wouldn't work. People would separate as quickly as they were united because earthlings have to be turned on first. And aliens have no concept of what it takes to turn someone on. Actually,
I'm not sure myself.
It cannot be forced at all, IT somehow, just happens.
But once IT happens, the connection between woman and man doesn't separate very easily.
Have you recently been around a newly in-love couple? It is the same with everyone with every generation, at any decade. The talking, the racing pulse, the blushing, the excitement reflected in their voices. The google eyes they make as our eyes glass over when they, once again speak on their new favorite topic.... themselves - their new found love - their couple-hoodedness.
aliens to love - aliens of how to make the connection - aliens waiting for our turn - aliens in love.
Once You Find Your Mate
Your Presence is Requested
Are Social Graces Really Dead in our Modern Society?
I have been debating this as-of-late and decidedly say, No. Social graces are still beating wildly in our society, very much alive and breathing heavily, (er, well, you know what I mean...)
If on any given day you just walk outside to your mailbox around mid-February you just might get an expensive envelope with a thicker and quality grade paper addressed to you in beautiful calligraphy.
Wait... I lost you at "Mailbox and walking outside didn't I?
You remember... The Mailbox...? You know... that metal box outside your home where the postal delivery driver passes by just about everyday because you handle everything digitally now.
Remember now?
Anyway, moving on, let's focus.
This envelope houses fine paper, shiny golden borders and fancy
language. Beautifully scripted words will state: "your presence is requested as an honored guest at the wedding of and you are cordially invited to attend the wedding of".
Where then you know how to save-the-date, RSVP and buy a gift.
We certainly have not lost our way in the world of instant gratification, technology and inside our many gadgets. We still love to be invited to grand celebrations only now we have #HASHTAGS# to post our pictures and social pages to brag about how great we look in our best gala attire.
Grandma, don't give up on us yet. We mind out "P's", "Q's" and "RSVPs" we just may do them via text and social media. Visit: The I Do Plan
#SocialGraces #You'reInvited #YouNeverGoToYourMailbox #ModernGranniesRunsMarathonsWhileTexting
I have been debating this as-of-late and decidedly say, No. Social graces are still beating wildly in our society, very much alive and breathing heavily, (er, well, you know what I mean...)
If on any given day you just walk outside to your mailbox around mid-February you just might get an expensive envelope with a thicker and quality grade paper addressed to you in beautiful calligraphy.
Wait... I lost you at "Mailbox and walking outside didn't I? You remember... The Mailbox...? You know... that metal box outside your home where the postal delivery driver passes by just about everyday because you handle everything digitally now.
Remember now?
Anyway, moving on, let's focus.
This envelope houses fine paper, shiny golden borders and fancy
language. Beautifully scripted words will state: "your presence is requested as an honored guest at the wedding of and you are cordially invited to attend the wedding of".
Where then you know how to save-the-date, RSVP and buy a gift.
We certainly have not lost our way in the world of instant gratification, technology and inside our many gadgets. We still love to be invited to grand celebrations only now we have #HASHTAGS# to post our pictures and social pages to brag about how great we look in our best gala attire.
Grandma, don't give up on us yet. We mind out "P's", "Q's" and "RSVPs" we just may do them via text and social media. Visit: The I Do Plan
#SocialGraces #You'reInvited #YouNeverGoToYourMailbox #ModernGranniesRunsMarathonsWhileTexting
Thursday, January 16, 2014
May They Have Peace
Did you know that we prosper when we pray for other people? This is what intercessory prayer is about; standing in the gap for others.
God works on this earth through humans, and he needs us to pray for others. Paul often asked others to pray for him through out His writings as stated in 2 Thes. 3:1, "Finally, brethren, pray for us that the word of The Lord will spread rapidity and be glorified, just as it did also with you."
When we pray we have peace within our selves about our own needs, and we can release that peace to others through intercession.
The apostle Paul set the greatest example of what it means for our soul to prosper in Philippians 4:12 that says, "I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstances I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need." Paul had His priorities straight here, for he was thankful and grateful for everything that God had given him; no matter how much or how little.
"Paul's secret to contentment, and ours too, is to Trust God that He is who he says He is. We need to rely on God's power and strength, not our own. Paul focused on what he should be doing instead of what he did not have. Sometimes it's beneficial for us not to have all of the material things we desire. Often our desire for more is just a longing to fill a void in our life."
A void in us hurts. By praying and seeking God to fill our empty, hurting and longing spirit we get peace joy and a firm hand thst leads us to contentment.
How can I intercede in prayer for you?
God a Bless You.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Romance, It's Not Just for Valentine's Day
Don't let Pressure Ruin Your Romance
When it comes to romance killers, nothing works faster than pressure. Of course, you want your romantic evening to go just as you planned, but it's far more important to roll with the punches rather then freak out and start crying if dinner gets a little burnt or if at the end of the night you just feel like cuddling.
This also goes for the pressure you place on your partner during your romantic rendezvous. At the end of the night what really matters is that you spent time together just enjoying each other's company as a couple. While dressing up and redecorating your living room for the evening can be fun and help get you in a romantic mood, the idea of "escaping" your daily life is so you can concentrate on each other instead. Keep your focus on that simple fact and you can create a romantic evening at home anytime.
When it comes to romance killers, nothing works faster than pressure. Of course, you want your romantic evening to go just as you planned, but it's far more important to roll with the punches rather then freak out and start crying if dinner gets a little burnt or if at the end of the night you just feel like cuddling.
This also goes for the pressure you place on your partner during your romantic rendezvous. At the end of the night what really matters is that you spent time together just enjoying each other's company as a couple. While dressing up and redecorating your living room for the evening can be fun and help get you in a romantic mood, the idea of "escaping" your daily life is so you can concentrate on each other instead. Keep your focus on that simple fact and you can create a romantic evening at home anytime.
Romance from Heart and Hand
Don't buy it, Make it!
If romance is all about the little things, it's also about the effort we put into them. While there is no need to drive yourself crazy planning every miniscule detail, putting in a little extra effort to do something special can really show your partner how much you value them.
Making a present as opposed to buying one is an economical and endearing way to show your partner you care about your relationship. Something as simple as cooking a meal featuring your partner's favorite foods, creating a CD or iPod playlist of special songs that remind you of your sweetie, or even making a card for them out of construction paper or other items around your house can be a perfectly thoughtful component to your romantic life together.
Really, it's the little things you do for your partner that show that you value and love them.
If romance is all about the little things, it's also about the effort we put into them. While there is no need to drive yourself crazy planning every miniscule detail, putting in a little extra effort to do something special can really show your partner how much you value them.
Making a present as opposed to buying one is an economical and endearing way to show your partner you care about your relationship. Something as simple as cooking a meal featuring your partner's favorite foods, creating a CD or iPod playlist of special songs that remind you of your sweetie, or even making a card for them out of construction paper or other items around your house can be a perfectly thoughtful component to your romantic life together.
Really, it's the little things you do for your partner that show that you value and love them.
Ah, Romance It's not just for Valentine's Day Part 2
Ah, Romance...
Some ideas to get your mind focused on creating a romantic atmosphere.
The Exotic Vacation at Home
For many people, the idea of being on vacation at some exotic destination is incredibly romantic. You can recreate this concept at home with a little planning and creativity. Once again, you need to choose your "inspiration location" based on a place you and your partner think is romantic, such as Morocco, Jamaica, Fiji, Italy, Paris etc.
This type of romantic evening can be just as much fun to plan as it will be to enjoy. You might want to plan it together. First pick your romantic destination. In order to make the evening really memorable, you don't need to spend a lot of money but you do need to spend some time and creativity on what will make the night special.
After you've chosen what destination appeals to you, start doing some research to discover what details you can add to your home to make you and your partner feel "transported". The easiest way to do this is to consider your senses:
Sight: What colors, fabrics and accessories do you identify with this location? For example, Morocco is all about rich jewel tones, so creating a Moroccan picnic in your living room with some colorful pillows and a few brightly colored sheets could be the beginning of a very romantic night.
Sound: What types of music do they play in this location? Borrowing a CD from the library or finding an online radio station) of traditional ukulele music creates the perfect background for your at-home Hawaiian luau for two.
Taste: What foods and drinks do you and your partner enjoy from this culture? You can cook or pre-purchase yummy appetizers or an entire meal based on food from your ideal romantic getaway location. If you've set your sights on the Caribbean, why not plan to make some tropical cocktails to help set the mood? You can even get those cute little paper umbrellas for a special touch.
Smell: This can usually be accomplished through whatever food or drink is involved in your plans, but can also be accomplished through scented candle can help you escape the walls of your house or apartment (making some no-fire s'mores might be fun too!)
Touch: This can include the textures you use to decorate your room or even what clothes you choose to wear for your romantic evening.
Don't forget about the lighting. Using sting lights, candles or even just covering lampshades with a sheer fabric in colors like red, orange or blue can help turn your ordinary living room into an exotic location. Just be careful of any fire hazards and do not place any fabric directly on a light bulb or leave candles unattended - blaring smoke alarms can quickly kill the mood you've worked so hard to create.
Some ideas to get your mind focused on creating a romantic atmosphere.
The Exotic Vacation at Home
For many people, the idea of being on vacation at some exotic destination is incredibly romantic. You can recreate this concept at home with a little planning and creativity. Once again, you need to choose your "inspiration location" based on a place you and your partner think is romantic, such as Morocco, Jamaica, Fiji, Italy, Paris etc.
This type of romantic evening can be just as much fun to plan as it will be to enjoy. You might want to plan it together. First pick your romantic destination. In order to make the evening really memorable, you don't need to spend a lot of money but you do need to spend some time and creativity on what will make the night special.
After you've chosen what destination appeals to you, start doing some research to discover what details you can add to your home to make you and your partner feel "transported". The easiest way to do this is to consider your senses:
Sight: What colors, fabrics and accessories do you identify with this location? For example, Morocco is all about rich jewel tones, so creating a Moroccan picnic in your living room with some colorful pillows and a few brightly colored sheets could be the beginning of a very romantic night.
Sound: What types of music do they play in this location? Borrowing a CD from the library or finding an online radio station) of traditional ukulele music creates the perfect background for your at-home Hawaiian luau for two.
Taste: What foods and drinks do you and your partner enjoy from this culture? You can cook or pre-purchase yummy appetizers or an entire meal based on food from your ideal romantic getaway location. If you've set your sights on the Caribbean, why not plan to make some tropical cocktails to help set the mood? You can even get those cute little paper umbrellas for a special touch.
Smell: This can usually be accomplished through whatever food or drink is involved in your plans, but can also be accomplished through scented candle can help you escape the walls of your house or apartment (making some no-fire s'mores might be fun too!)
Touch: This can include the textures you use to decorate your room or even what clothes you choose to wear for your romantic evening.
Don't forget about the lighting. Using sting lights, candles or even just covering lampshades with a sheer fabric in colors like red, orange or blue can help turn your ordinary living room into an exotic location. Just be careful of any fire hazards and do not place any fabric directly on a light bulb or leave candles unattended - blaring smoke alarms can quickly kill the mood you've worked so hard to create.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Ah, Romance It's not just for Valentine's Day Part 1
Ah, romance!
Where would we be without it? Unfortunately, romance can easily be forgotten when careers, families and the necessities of daily life become our primary focus. But romance is important for every couple, whether you've been together for 30 days or 30 years. Making a little time for romance needs to get back on your priority list.
The good news is that there are lots of easy and inexpensive ways to get romantic without even leaving your house. It's all about getting a little creative.
Remember: Romance is Subjective
No matter what a bunch of so-called women's magazines tell you, not all people think the same things are romantic. Some women find the idea of a bubble bath with floating rose petals to be trite and cliche, while other women will swoon at the sight. Some women would rather eat a bucket of fried chicken than dine at a fancy French restaurant, while other women will say "ooh, la la" to the idea of a swanky night out. The point is, romance, much like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.
What does this mean for you? It means that romance is based on personal interests so if you want to plan a romantic evening at home, you need to think about what you and your partner enjoy and actually consider romantic.
Let's say you are both huge fans of sushi and old black-and-white movies. Perhaps your romantic evening entails some sushi take-out or delivery (perhaps removed from the plastic containers and re-plated), a few candles and some old romantic movies starring Humphrey Bogart or Cary Grant. Romance is in the details. The more you can take a generic idea like "dinner and a movie" and tailor it to your individual tastes - in this example sushi and Cary Grant_ the more romantic your night will be.
Where would we be without it? Unfortunately, romance can easily be forgotten when careers, families and the necessities of daily life become our primary focus. But romance is important for every couple, whether you've been together for 30 days or 30 years. Making a little time for romance needs to get back on your priority list.
The good news is that there are lots of easy and inexpensive ways to get romantic without even leaving your house. It's all about getting a little creative.
Remember: Romance is Subjective
No matter what a bunch of so-called women's magazines tell you, not all people think the same things are romantic. Some women find the idea of a bubble bath with floating rose petals to be trite and cliche, while other women will swoon at the sight. Some women would rather eat a bucket of fried chicken than dine at a fancy French restaurant, while other women will say "ooh, la la" to the idea of a swanky night out. The point is, romance, much like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.
What does this mean for you? It means that romance is based on personal interests so if you want to plan a romantic evening at home, you need to think about what you and your partner enjoy and actually consider romantic.
Let's say you are both huge fans of sushi and old black-and-white movies. Perhaps your romantic evening entails some sushi take-out or delivery (perhaps removed from the plastic containers and re-plated), a few candles and some old romantic movies starring Humphrey Bogart or Cary Grant. Romance is in the details. The more you can take a generic idea like "dinner and a movie" and tailor it to your individual tastes - in this example sushi and Cary Grant_ the more romantic your night will be.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Napkin Placement Mystery Solved
Napkins placement can create internal battles within our heads and when you ask for other people's opinion then problems sometimes surface on a personal basis of who is correct. When setting the table, first of all relax, it really can be fun. Second, there are some simple etiquette "rules" to follow. (Etiquette, remember is a guide to help us along and to make our guests feel at ease.)
Don't you worry...I'm here to aid you in this decision.
I prefer to set the napkin in the center of the plate, with a nice napkin ring. Many people like to place the napkin in the water goblet, but after breaking a friend's Tiffany crystal stemware trying to remove it, I now try to spare guests of mine - and my fine crystal - the same fate.
After you remove your napkin from the ring, place the napkin on your lap and the ring to the left of your plate. After you have finished your meal and get up to leave the table, you can place the napkin to the left of your plate, or once your plate has been removed, you can place it where your plate had been, but not back in the napkin ring. However, it's proper etiquette to leave your napkin on your lap until you get up from the table...even if you're finished eating. If everyone stays at the table and chats after the meal, it is considered rude to have your dirty napkin in sight.
Don't have napkin rings on hand? Here's how to fold one like a pro:
Fold the napkin into a triangle. Fold in the two bottom corners one quarter of the way. Fold both of the corners over one another so they meet in the middle. Fold the top point down and flip the napkin over, and you have a chic envelop shape. You can leave it as is, or insert your silverware, a pretty flower, or chopsticks if you're serving an Asian menu.
Did these tips make it simple for you? Let me know if you have any questions. I also have LOTS of other napkin folds I will be thrilled to share with you. This was my hobby growing up whenever my mother entertained. It's fun table origami to me.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Table Setting Savvy Part 2
The last post I wrote about "Setting the Mood" before the guest arrived. This post is where all of those glasses, plates, and cutlery items are placed to make a pretty table.
Traditionally, cutlery is laid smallest to largest, working toward the plate. Forks go to the left of the plate, spoons and knives to the right. The exception are the dessert fork and spoon, which go above the plate, spoon on top. There is a great debate among my friends as to whether you should put out the full set of cutlery even if you don't need it (i.e., a salad fork if there is no salad). My feeling is, put out whatever you think a guest might use (who knows, she might want to cut her rigatoni with a knife). But skip anything that will lead a guest to think a course is coming that isn't. (I once left a dinner party extremely hungry, thinking, given the plethora of forks, that the entree was the appetizer.)
Place the water goblet right above the tip of the knife, and set the wineglasses slightly in front of the water. For more formal parties, preset for as many different types of wines or champagne as you plan to serve.
Next Blog post will be the ins and outs of napkins.
Rebecca Mannerly tip: Remember that all food and drinks should be served on each diner's right (that's why the glasses are all on the right), and cleared from each diner's left.
Setting the Mood
I've found that if my guests walk into a nicely set room, it puts them in a good mood and makes them feel pampered - before they've even had a bite.
Table-Setting Savvy
When you're throwing a dinner party, think of your table as the gift-wrapping and your food as the gift. You want to give your guests a knockout visual presentation so they get excited about tucking into the delicious spread you've prepared. But all you really need to pull off the effects is a runner for a semiformal dinner (you and your guests are wearing jeans and a cute top) or a fabric tablecloth for a formal one (everyone's asked to wear cocktail attire).
If you don't have a runner (which is basically just a long strip of fabric laid down the center of your table), a quick makeshift idea is to use a long scarf. I've even used a black brocade scarf of my grandmother's before. Another option is to run a row of fabric place mats down your table. With your flowers and olive oils and other small dishes on top of them, no one will notice they're not all one piece.
For a formal table, splurge on a tablecloth. White is always a safe bet because it won't clash with your plates or food. But don't worry about getting the finest quality. What's more important is that it's ironed and crisp-looking. If you'd sooner have your teeth drilled than iron, send out your napkins and tablecloth to be pressed.
A truly formal setting implies having all of your cutlery, dishes and glassware already on the table at the beginning of the meal. What I like about this - whether I'm actually serving a formal meal or not - is that not only does it pass the Miss Manners test, but as the hostess you don't find yourself scrambling for more glasses during the meal.
More on the placement of each cutlery, dishes and glasses in next blog.
Rebecca Mannerly tip: Forget which side to put the bread plate and which side to put your drinking glasses? Make an "okay" sign with both hands - you'll see that your left hand makes a "b" for bread, and your right hand makes a "d" for drink. Easy!
Table-Setting Savvy
When you're throwing a dinner party, think of your table as the gift-wrapping and your food as the gift. You want to give your guests a knockout visual presentation so they get excited about tucking into the delicious spread you've prepared. But all you really need to pull off the effects is a runner for a semiformal dinner (you and your guests are wearing jeans and a cute top) or a fabric tablecloth for a formal one (everyone's asked to wear cocktail attire).
If you don't have a runner (which is basically just a long strip of fabric laid down the center of your table), a quick makeshift idea is to use a long scarf. I've even used a black brocade scarf of my grandmother's before. Another option is to run a row of fabric place mats down your table. With your flowers and olive oils and other small dishes on top of them, no one will notice they're not all one piece.
For a formal table, splurge on a tablecloth. White is always a safe bet because it won't clash with your plates or food. But don't worry about getting the finest quality. What's more important is that it's ironed and crisp-looking. If you'd sooner have your teeth drilled than iron, send out your napkins and tablecloth to be pressed.
A truly formal setting implies having all of your cutlery, dishes and glassware already on the table at the beginning of the meal. What I like about this - whether I'm actually serving a formal meal or not - is that not only does it pass the Miss Manners test, but as the hostess you don't find yourself scrambling for more glasses during the meal.
More on the placement of each cutlery, dishes and glasses in next blog.
Rebecca Mannerly tip: Forget which side to put the bread plate and which side to put your drinking glasses? Make an "okay" sign with both hands - you'll see that your left hand makes a "b" for bread, and your right hand makes a "d" for drink. Easy!
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Hospitality Begins At Home
Use hospitality one to another without grudging. 1 Peter 4:9
Why is it always easier to extend the courtesies of hospitality to those outside our immediate families? Husbands, relatives, children, or strangely enough their friends often receive short end of our kind attention. This point was brought forcibly home to my friend and me by her daughter, who cleverly exclaimed before a roomful of guests, "Mommy, why aren't you this nice to us when people aren't here?"
Hospitality, like charity, in order to be true, has to begin at home. When we are humiliated enough through comments of our children that we have been forced to examine our attitudes toward them. Did it count, all this gracious open-house business, if we act like a hellion the hour before company arrives? Wasn't there something hypocritical about receiving laurels for our charity work if our own children's friends are neglected? Isn't there a glaring inconsistency if we really treat our children differently when outsiders are around? Through the years I have come to an understanding of the use of hospitality as a gift. But am I really giving to my own?
A woman can't be perfect in everything, can she? Yet telltale marks had been imprinted on my own heart by the timely reading of the Scriptures: If you give even a cup of cold water to a little child...anyone who takes care of a little child is caring for God who sent Me.
Why is it always easier to extend the courtesies of hospitality to those outside our immediate families? Husbands, relatives, children, or strangely enough their friends often receive short end of our kind attention. This point was brought forcibly home to my friend and me by her daughter, who cleverly exclaimed before a roomful of guests, "Mommy, why aren't you this nice to us when people aren't here?"
Hospitality, like charity, in order to be true, has to begin at home. When we are humiliated enough through comments of our children that we have been forced to examine our attitudes toward them. Did it count, all this gracious open-house business, if we act like a hellion the hour before company arrives? Wasn't there something hypocritical about receiving laurels for our charity work if our own children's friends are neglected? Isn't there a glaring inconsistency if we really treat our children differently when outsiders are around? Through the years I have come to an understanding of the use of hospitality as a gift. But am I really giving to my own?
A woman can't be perfect in everything, can she? Yet telltale marks had been imprinted on my own heart by the timely reading of the Scriptures: If you give even a cup of cold water to a little child...anyone who takes care of a little child is caring for God who sent Me.
Family, What's That?
The very existence and presence of my children make home a pleasure for me. When I've come home tired, only to open the door and hear their feet running toward me and feel their warm arms encircle my legs, I've thanked God for their life. They loved me without noticing when my outfit needs accessories, my hair needs attention, or I had a run in my stocking. They never noticed when my face was badly in need of some fresh make-up; they just loved me the way I was.
The pleasure of belonging to a family is a treasure indeed. Each person needs a place where he or she belongs. That is a natural need for every human being. You and I gravitate to a place that we can call our own, a place where we can hang our hat, where we can live in privacy. Where I can be me! We naturally are pulled toward a person or group of persons whom we can trust and where we are accepted as we really are. This, then, is the joy of belonging to a family: We can relax in a private place, whether it is a tent or a tower, a condominium, a cottage, or a castle, with people who love us as we are.
The pleasure of belonging to a family is a treasure indeed. Each person needs a place where he or she belongs. That is a natural need for every human being. You and I gravitate to a place that we can call our own, a place where we can hang our hat, where we can live in privacy. Where I can be me! We naturally are pulled toward a person or group of persons whom we can trust and where we are accepted as we really are. This, then, is the joy of belonging to a family: We can relax in a private place, whether it is a tent or a tower, a condominium, a cottage, or a castle, with people who love us as we are.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
The Party Wardrobe
There was a time when "we're not dressing" meant "black tie instead of white". Now if you clue your guests this way, they're as likely to turn up in undress-blue-jeans as in dinner-jackets. More likely they will call confused and wonder what kind of party you are hosting.
As a host, you have no problem of deciding what to wear. You issued the invitations - and if the clothes were to be different than the usual clothes for your community for that time of the day and year, you said so.
In a word, wear what your guest expect you to wear. Don't embarrass them by outdressing them; they may feel that they haven't given your party the importance you expected it to have. But don't under-dress, or you imply a lack of effort for a party they took quite seriously.
You know your community - and the clothing for Friday night chez vous are quite different in New York City than they are, say, in Southern California. (Who said, "Thank goodness!")
And you know your friends. If a particular, successful manufacturer hates and resents white shirts and ties in off-business hours, tell his wife when you invite him to anything but your Opera Ball, "Have Bo wear a sports shirt, of course," and follow the cue yourself. On the other hand, you work a hardship when you suggest a sports jacket to an Eastern-bred city-ite who feels it disrespectful to his hostess (albeit a suburban one) to appear for dinner in less than a dark suit and white shirt.
The best way to out-guess both sides of this problem is the way these gentlemen dress when they entertain at home. And the obvious moral, if you want both to be comfortable, is - never invite them to the same dinner-party.
As a host, you have no problem of deciding what to wear. You issued the invitations - and if the clothes were to be different than the usual clothes for your community for that time of the day and year, you said so.
In a word, wear what your guest expect you to wear. Don't embarrass them by outdressing them; they may feel that they haven't given your party the importance you expected it to have. But don't under-dress, or you imply a lack of effort for a party they took quite seriously.
You know your community - and the clothing for Friday night chez vous are quite different in New York City than they are, say, in Southern California. (Who said, "Thank goodness!")
And you know your friends. If a particular, successful manufacturer hates and resents white shirts and ties in off-business hours, tell his wife when you invite him to anything but your Opera Ball, "Have Bo wear a sports shirt, of course," and follow the cue yourself. On the other hand, you work a hardship when you suggest a sports jacket to an Eastern-bred city-ite who feels it disrespectful to his hostess (albeit a suburban one) to appear for dinner in less than a dark suit and white shirt.
The best way to out-guess both sides of this problem is the way these gentlemen dress when they entertain at home. And the obvious moral, if you want both to be comfortable, is - never invite them to the same dinner-party.
Entertain the Non-drinkers
To entertain non-drinkers, all you need is a fruit juice for cocktail-time, a soft drink for hard-drinking time. But to be a perfect host, you need some rare-to-come by think equipment.
Think how YOU would feel if while on the wagon, you were constantly urged to have "just one." As a host, never make a point of abstinence. Include "tomato juice" on the list you rattle off in your "What'll you have?" speech. Serve them in glasses no different from those of the other guest. So the non-drinker will know, at the onset, that their "foibles" are not going to inconvenience you. Restrain yourself from the I-wish-I-had-your-courage false admiration. In other words, leave alone!
For the special case, ulcers, for instance, milk is usually in order. Just plain milk, without a dash of sympathy. A glass of milk on a tray of martinis can seldom enter the room without bringing forth the "little mother" type remarks, but if you get into the act with a dead-pan, "Here's your milk punch," at least you leave it up to the ulcerous unfortunate as to whether of not he wants to give his case history. Even if he's hardened to the razzing, he'll appreciate your considerate try to spare him his 10,000 discussion on Ulcers and How I Got One.
Aside from fruit juices, ginger ale, cola and other soda pops, about the only classic teetotaler's tipple you might need is the:
Horse's Neck
Peel the whole rind of a lemon, in one spiraling piece. Place it in a tumbler, with one end hanging over the top. Add 2 cubes of ice, a dash of bitters, then fill the tumbler with ginger ale,
or the
Mom Collins
When your other guest are drinking Toms, make the same for your dry friends - leaving out the gin.
Think how YOU would feel if while on the wagon, you were constantly urged to have "just one." As a host, never make a point of abstinence. Include "tomato juice" on the list you rattle off in your "What'll you have?" speech. Serve them in glasses no different from those of the other guest. So the non-drinker will know, at the onset, that their "foibles" are not going to inconvenience you. Restrain yourself from the I-wish-I-had-your-courage false admiration. In other words, leave alone!
For the special case, ulcers, for instance, milk is usually in order. Just plain milk, without a dash of sympathy. A glass of milk on a tray of martinis can seldom enter the room without bringing forth the "little mother" type remarks, but if you get into the act with a dead-pan, "Here's your milk punch," at least you leave it up to the ulcerous unfortunate as to whether of not he wants to give his case history. Even if he's hardened to the razzing, he'll appreciate your considerate try to spare him his 10,000 discussion on Ulcers and How I Got One.
Aside from fruit juices, ginger ale, cola and other soda pops, about the only classic teetotaler's tipple you might need is the:
Horse's Neck
Peel the whole rind of a lemon, in one spiraling piece. Place it in a tumbler, with one end hanging over the top. Add 2 cubes of ice, a dash of bitters, then fill the tumbler with ginger ale,
or the
Mom Collins
When your other guest are drinking Toms, make the same for your dry friends - leaving out the gin.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Shall We Fight? Thirteen Ways To Test A Friendship
Shall We Fight? # 4 of 13 Ways to Test a Friendship
4. Success
Problem You get engaged to a honey-colored diving instructor, lose five pounds, and are offered a job as Liam Neeson't personal masseuse in Paris. Suddenly two very close girlfriends are "busy or away from their desk" when you call. It hurts you not to be able to revel in your good news; it hurts them to even think about it.
Solutions Share your great news but with sensitivity, and don't let it overshadow the events in the lives of your friends. If you inspire the odd prickle of jealousy, perhaps you're boasting unduly (good fortune can make us momentarily oblivious). True friends stick by you on the ascent as well as the descent in life. They keep you real.
4. Success
Problem You get engaged to a honey-colored diving instructor, lose five pounds, and are offered a job as Liam Neeson't personal masseuse in Paris. Suddenly two very close girlfriends are "busy or away from their desk" when you call. It hurts you not to be able to revel in your good news; it hurts them to even think about it.
Solutions Share your great news but with sensitivity, and don't let it overshadow the events in the lives of your friends. If you inspire the odd prickle of jealousy, perhaps you're boasting unduly (good fortune can make us momentarily oblivious). True friends stick by you on the ascent as well as the descent in life. They keep you real.
Shall We Fight? Thirteen Ways To Test A Friendship
Number Three of Thirteen
Rivalry
Problem You work together, inspire each other, fire off work-relevant emails, share contacts, ideas, and even the same personal trainer. You also watch each other like hawks for chinks in the armor and responses from your professional peers. Under the surface of all this camaraderie are two women competing like crazy.
Solution Sometimes admiration between peers slides into something altogether more cutthroat. There is a difference between egging each other on and naked rivalry. If work and friendship are bleeding into each other too aggressively, take steps to revive the interest you share outside the office. If that fails, ask yourself what this friendship is really based on.
Rivalry
Problem You work together, inspire each other, fire off work-relevant emails, share contacts, ideas, and even the same personal trainer. You also watch each other like hawks for chinks in the armor and responses from your professional peers. Under the surface of all this camaraderie are two women competing like crazy.
Solution Sometimes admiration between peers slides into something altogether more cutthroat. There is a difference between egging each other on and naked rivalry. If work and friendship are bleeding into each other too aggressively, take steps to revive the interest you share outside the office. If that fails, ask yourself what this friendship is really based on.
Shall We Fight? Thirteen Ways To Test A Friendship
Shall We Fight?
Number two of the thirteen ways to test a friendship
Problem You made it to her wedding but missed the vows, you e-mail her needed resume advice only hours before the interview, you phone three times on a Sunday to say, "I'll be there soon," but it's dusk by the time you arrive with the croissants.
Solution Being dependable is more important than anything else you have to give a friendship. Respect your friend's time by not claiming it. Simply stop making plans you can't meet and be superdiligent about keeping your word.
Number two of the thirteen ways to test a friendship
Problem You made it to her wedding but missed the vows, you e-mail her needed resume advice only hours before the interview, you phone three times on a Sunday to say, "I'll be there soon," but it's dusk by the time you arrive with the croissants.
Solution Being dependable is more important than anything else you have to give a friendship. Respect your friend's time by not claiming it. Simply stop making plans you can't meet and be superdiligent about keeping your word.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Shall We Fight? Thirteen Ways To Test A Friendship
1. Problem: You call your closes confidante for a light-hearted chat that deteriotes into a massive gripe about your commitment-phobic emotional bonsai of an ex-husband, the hairdresser who gave you squirrel-colored highlights, your aging spaniel who's incontinent, and the fact that Clinique has discontinued Rich & Raspy Red and...
Solution: Sooner or later even the most patient friend will develop a whine allergy if all you do is use her as a sounding board. Before you call up your best friend for a massive rambling kvetch, count to seventy-five. Make a list of possible solutions, then make a cup of tea. Doesn't that feel better?
Solution: Sooner or later even the most patient friend will develop a whine allergy if all you do is use her as a sounding board. Before you call up your best friend for a massive rambling kvetch, count to seventy-five. Make a list of possible solutions, then make a cup of tea. Doesn't that feel better?
Being a Woman
Being a woman brings many responsibilities. There is the job, motherhood, being a daughter, a lover and a friend. There are demands within these responsibilities and outside them. Have you ever taken the time to list the things that you are responsible for in your life? The things that keep your personality spunky and your womanhood desirable?
I have just a few ideas I'm going to list below, comment or email me any more that you might add.
We women think about our Balance, Strength, Well-Being and a killer wardrobe. Womanhood is about solitude. It's about stain removal. It's about beauty, and what to do when feeling blue. It's about attitude and atomizers, stock funds and stockings that match. It's about life - your life and how to get it together. It's about being smart, funny, refreshing, down-to-earth. It's writing your own survival guide. It's health, dating, money, career moves, style, sex, nutrition, responsibility, home decor, body image, friendships. And, of course, we can't forget finding those indispensable three black dresses - one to seduce, one to succeed, one to slob out in.
What else is there?
I have just a few ideas I'm going to list below, comment or email me any more that you might add.
We women think about our Balance, Strength, Well-Being and a killer wardrobe. Womanhood is about solitude. It's about stain removal. It's about beauty, and what to do when feeling blue. It's about attitude and atomizers, stock funds and stockings that match. It's about life - your life and how to get it together. It's about being smart, funny, refreshing, down-to-earth. It's writing your own survival guide. It's health, dating, money, career moves, style, sex, nutrition, responsibility, home decor, body image, friendships. And, of course, we can't forget finding those indispensable three black dresses - one to seduce, one to succeed, one to slob out in.
What else is there?
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