Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Entertain the Non-drinkers

To entertain non-drinkers, all you need is a fruit juice for cocktail-time, a soft drink for hard-drinking time.  But to be a perfect host, you need some rare-to-come by think equipment.

Think how YOU would feel if while on the wagon, you were constantly urged to have "just one."  As a host, never make a point of abstinence.  Include "tomato juice" on the list you rattle off in your "What'll you have?" speech.  Serve them in glasses no different from those of the other guest.  So the non-drinker will know, at the onset, that their "foibles" are not going to inconvenience you.  Restrain yourself from the I-wish-I-had-your-courage false admiration.  In other words, leave alone!
For the special case, ulcers, for instance, milk is usually in order.  Just plain milk, without a dash of sympathy.  A glass of milk on a tray of martinis can seldom enter the room without bringing forth the "little mother" type remarks, but if you get into the act with a dead-pan, "Here's your milk punch," at least you leave it up to the ulcerous unfortunate as to whether of not he wants to give his case history.  Even if he's hardened to the razzing, he'll appreciate your considerate try to spare him his 10,000 discussion on Ulcers and How I Got One.
Aside from fruit juices, ginger ale, cola and other soda pops, about the only classic teetotaler's tipple you might need is the:

Horse's Neck
Peel the whole rind of a lemon, in one spiraling piece.  Place it in a tumbler, with one end hanging over the top.  Add 2 cubes of ice, a dash of bitters, then fill the tumbler with ginger ale,

or the

Mom Collins
When your other guest are drinking Toms, make the same for your dry friends - leaving out the gin.

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