Friday, January 21, 2011

How To Make Your Parties Run Like Clockwork

What follows is #2 of the 17 Jewel, clockwork planning:

2.  Make the invitation crystal clear:
Whether you invite people by telephone, by note, by evite or computer e-card, or in person (all correct for all but formal affairs) be sure to make the following specific:  the place, the date, the hour or span of hours, and the kind of party.  (People want to know particularly if you are going to feed them or if they should make other plans for the meal that might conceivable fall into these hours.)  Add, unless this can be safely taken for granted, the appropriate dress.
You would not, we hope, say, "Come take pot luck," when you knew very well you were going to have a dressy crowd and a caterer.  Nor would you lead your friends to get all duked up if you knew that you were going to be tie-less and the other guests were coming straight from the golf course.  Ignorance is not bliss, particularly for women, so give them a straight steer with your invitation.
The word you use, of course, means a lot:  with "supper" you suggest a buffet, probably large and late, where "dinner" means a sit-down meal at a prescribed hour.  "Tea" means what it says, and guests are adequately warned.  In very formal circles, "We're not dressing," means quite opposite to the normal mind; it means black tie instead of white.  There's no code word for blue jeans, so give direct clue and live up to it yourself.
Your invitations should be out at least a week before the event - two weeks if you expect replies.  Three weeks is not too far in advance for large parties or busy seasons, but, except for a wedding, for weeks' notice has all the vise-marks of a bear trap.

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