3. Be Sensitive to Your Guests' Sensitivities:
The perfect host protects their guests from themselves and from each other. They spot boredom before it happens; they finger left-out-ness before it appears. If one of your guests is shy or a stranger, or both, draft her as your assistant. If she has something to pass or to do, the shy one will be forced out of her corner and become a part of the group in spite of herself.
The same technique sometimes works in breaking up cliques. You can call one or two people out of an overtime conversation to select music and to pass hot tidbits (either food or gossip) then introduce new people to the old group. This should start it ticking again.
You, of course, must avoid being caught in involved discussions or entangling alliances (no matter how charmingly she entangles) but unlike the guests, you can always break away with a simple, "excuse me." And you must, for only by staying unattached, can you be alert to the guest who needs to be rescued. You can no more stand by and let one guest be harassed by a salesman or insulted by a drunk, than you could let one guest beat up another. Usually, you can extricate the helpless without offending the offender, but sometimes, in extreme cases, you must be rude to one in order to rescue the other. As a host, you are responsible for whatever happens in your home. so ask not for whom the bell tolls, dear host, it tolls for thee.
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