Thursday, March 24, 2011

One Country's Good Manners is Another's Grand Faux pas

In Washington they call protocol "etiquette with a government expense account."  But diplomacy isn't just for diplomats.  How you behave in other people's countries reflects on more than you alone.  It also brightens - or dims - the image of where you come from and whom you work for.  The Ugly American about whom we used to read so much may be dead, but here and there the ghost still wobbles out of the closet.

What follows is from three American well-traveled readers.  Their stories tell how even an old pro can sometimes make the wrong move in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Story # 1:  A partner in one of New York's leading private banking firms

When the board chairman is Lo Win Hao, do you smile brightly and say "How do you do, Mr. Hao?" or "Mr. Lo"? Or "Mr. Win"?

"I traveled nine thousand miles to meet a client and arrived with my foot in my mouth.  Determined to do things right, I'd memorized the names of the key men I was to see in Singapore.  Now easy job, insomuch as the names all came in threes.  So, of course, I couldn't resist showing off that I'd done my homework.  I began by addressing top man Lo Win Hao with plenty of well-placed Mr. Hao's - and sprinkled the rest of my remarks with a Mr. Chee this and Mr. Woon that.  Great show.  Until a note was passed to me from one man I'd met before, in New York.  Bad news.  'Too friendly too soon, Mr. Long', it said.  Where diffidence is next to godliness, there I was, calling a roomful of VIP's in effect, Mr. Ed and Mr. Charlie.  I'd remembered everybody's name - but forgotten that in Chinese the surname comes first and the given name last."

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