Other Ways to Communicate

Here's a Tip:  Watch the eyes.  A person's eyes will tell you if he or she is comprehending what you are saying.

Watch the eyes.  The eyes are especially important part of communications.  In fact, watch for all types of body language.  Social scientist claim that fully 60 percent of our daily communication is nonverbal.  But the eyes are especially important.  Among some cultures, it is believed that the eyes are the windows of the soul.  And when trying to communicate, a person's eyes will tell you much about comprehension.  The exception is among Asian cultures, where direct eye contact is considered impolite.
If another person's eyes glaze over when you are talking, stop, retreat, and retrace your verbal steps to try to regain attention.
Other  body signs to look for:  a person who nods as you speak is usually comprehending, even agreeing; yet a person who thrusts out their chin is usually showing defiance.  Also, when you are conversing, don't be afraid to be expressive with your face and hands in order to accentuate your words.

Speak slowly and distinctly.  It is said you can determine who the experienced professionals are by the slow pace of their speech.

Just some things to think about and practice while conversing with others.

Keep the Celebration Going

You can set the table perfectly, buy a beautiful dessert, open a fantastic bottle of wine and still not celebrate.  Celebrations come from the heart.  It is gratitude during the tango.  It is a Jack-in-the-box-of-joy.  It is unabashed exultation in the delight of connecting with a friend.  Better fried chicken in the company of your closest companions than chateau-briand in the mansion of an enemy.  Real celebration cannot be manufactured, nor would you ever want it to be.  it is authentic, spontaneous, and deeply spiritual.  It is a smile that begins in your soul.  Give yourself permission to celebrate your friendships.  Let go.  Make a big deal over them.  Go ahead, fuss a little.  You can always go back to humdrum tomorrow.  It will still be there.  Today, make the most of your fresh new life, and celebrate.

Recipe:

I bought a recipe book years ago while living in New England.  Many of the recipes I have made for friends have come from the book.  This particular dessert is one of my favorites.  I have used every flavor combination of ice cream and frozen yogurt you can imagine, as well as chocolate crusts and graham crusts, and it is always a success.  You can't mess this on up!

Toffee Ice Cream Torte

1 cup almond macaroon crumbs
2 tablespoons melted butter
1 quart chocolate ice cream, slightly softened
1 cup fudge sauce
1 quart coffee ice cream, slightly softened
4 Heath toffee bars, coarsely chopped

Combine macaroon crumbs and butter, and press on bottom of a 9-inch springform pan.  Bake at 350 for 8 to 10 minutes or until golden.  Cool.  Spread chocolate ice cream evenly on crust; drizzle with half of fudge sauce, and freeze until firm.  Spread with coffee ice cream, and sprinkle with chopped toffee bars. Drizzle with remaining fudge sauce.  Cover and freeze until firm.
To serve, remove from freezer several minutes before slicing.  Cut into wedges with a hot, wet knife.  Serves 8-12 (or two good friends for three days).

The Overzealous Parent

Have you noticed your neighbors or good friends turn beastly when their kids are in competitive activities? Normally polite and pleasant parents can find themselves "one upping" the other kids and parents when there is a competition to win and their child is involved.  The problem is often that parents project their fears of failure onto their children and that modern society supports "winning is everything" thinking.  That is what my "how-to-parent" books tell me.  Sadly, overzealous parents generally do more harm than good, embarrassing young players and sapping all the fun out of the competitions.  You can't do much to control other parents, but keep the following recommendations in mind when you are on the sidelines, (this list is from an Elementary School Counselor):

Leave the coaching to the coach.  Shouting negative comments and instructions at the adult in charge will confuse your child. (Which adult is she supposed to listen to - you or the coach?)  Aggressive sideline coaching sets a bad example anyway, it destroys their confidence and can harm their performance.

Don't criticize referees and judges.  You will disagree with a referee's calls on occasion, but keep the criticism to yourself.  Even if you think a referee was completely off base, don't convey your hostile feelings to your child.  You can discuss a decision with your child, but stick to the action itself ("I don't think the ref saw Max touch home plate")  and never indulge in personal insults.

Compliment the opposition.  If the other team is playing particularly well, remark on their skills.  Showing your appreciation for other children is not a betrayal of your own child, but it is an essential of good sportsmanship and good manners.

Stay clear of tantrum-throwing parents.  You can't reason with a furious parent.  But if you know the person, you may want to speak with him about the behavior at another, calmer time.  If a parent is throwing things or seems physically threatening, get the authorities immediately;  don't take on an out-of control spectator by yourself.   Explain the situation to your child as best you can - "Mr. Thomas forgot his good manners when he was yelling at the coach" - and be sure your child knows that you don't approve of the behavior.

Showing self control at every age is important to teach your child.  As you teach them these principles keep in mind that good sportsmanship is a quality of moral, ethical and yes, highly successful people.

Time To Purge

From the desk of:  Rebecca Mannerly

MEMO:

Oops, Your Manners Are Showing!

Manners Matter in the Office

It is time for a desk purge!

It's said that in an average lifetime we spend one whole year riffling through papers.  If your computer is aflutter with Post-its and you can no longer see your desk, purge!

Use your desk for active projects only - the stuff you are working on right now.  Your work space needs to be orderly enough for a coworker to find materials in your absence.

Make a list of unfinished tasks, uncomfortable phone calls, and delayed responses to memos.  Aim to get the beastly list dealt with within a realistic time frame - three or four days max.

Try to concentrate information.  Transfer notes, memos, phone numbers, and flashes of brilliance to one master list on paper, and one on your computer.  For large projects keep relevant numbers, key names, addresses, objectives, aims and details on one page and in one computer file.

For paper documents, vertical files are better than wire trays.

Give computer files clear, relevant names.  Poetic or cryptic names are a nightmare to decode months later.

Use technology intelligently.  Learn how to reduce complicated, repetitive tasks to one keystroke.  Every office has a techno nerd; buy her lunch and then heed her wisdom.  She can save you hours.

If your job entails research and information gathering but you are Internet-ignorant, take an intensive weekend course.

You can do this!  Think how much better you will feel with a clean, clear and organized desk.  You can get to the important task of the day.